A Proud American Woman

A Proud American Woman

            It was a morning like all other mornings. She awoke, put on her robe, made breakfast for her husband and children, sent them off to work and school, and began her day. Maybe she cleaned a little, did some laundry, watched a little television, talked with her friends, or went out to tend flowers or her garden. She didn’t have a set schedule every day. After a few hours she fixed her lunch, ate, and made some cookies for her kids when they arrived home from school. Today was an easy day, because she knew once her kids arrived home, it would be chaos of homework and getting dinner ready. There would be no more down time for the rest of the evening. She had friends that went to work, but she enjoyed being at home with her children, keeping the house nice, and providing a loving environment for her family. Did she think about going out to work? Absolutely! Especially when the kids were fighting, the budget was tight, or the fridge was without food. Today was one of those days.

            The next day she opened her eyes ready to go out and find a job. She awoke, put on her robe, made breakfast for her husband and children, and sent them off to work and school. Instead of cleaning or doing laundry, she got dressed. She put on make-up, her Sunday best, and some high heels ready to go out to look for work. This wasn’t easy for her. She loved not having to deal with people on a daily basis. People were so negative, sensitive, and angry these days. It was a world she never anticipated, but she couldn’t allow this to stop her. Maybe her smile, positive, and kind demeanor would make someone’s day better. Plus, she knew bills would pile up and the cabinets, freezer, and fridge would all be empty if she didn’t do something. She got in her car with the want ads and headed out to submit applications, but something stopped her as she closed the car door. It wasn’t fear or anxiety. It was the feeling that somehow everything would be okay. She put her head on the steering wheel as she prayed and began to cry uncontrollably. As she looked in her purse through tear filled eyes for a tissue, she saw something green in the hole she had in the inner lining of her purse. It was a twenty dollar bill! Suddenly the tears dried up and she took a deep breath as she put her seat belt on. Twenty dollars may not be much to some, but for her it was milk, bread, veggies, and a little meat. She forgot about all of the retail stores she was going to go to today and headed straight for the grocery store. She didn’t have a buggy full of groceries like the lady in front of her or the man behind, but she had enough. That was all she needed to make two to three dinners until her husband’s next pay check. As she paid for her groceries, she heard two female cashiers talking about how much day care is and how they never get to see their kids. She felt a sigh of relief, that for now, she gets to be home. The kids arrived home that day in a good mood and she greeted them with a smile on her face. They shared their day with her, did their homework as they drank the milk she bought, and ate the cookies she made yesterday. 

            Yesterday was a great day she thought, as she awoke, put on her robe, made breakfast for her husband and children, and sent them off to work and school. She had a renewed sense of purpose. So she did a couple of loads of laundry to catch up for missing yesterday, turned on the television for some background noise, and washed the dishes from breakfast. She was enjoying her peaceful feeling until one of the juice glasses slipped out of her hand and shattered in her white cast iron sink. After turning off the water so she could clean up the broken glass she heard gun fire coming from the television. She rushed into the living room to see a breaking news broadcast. The reporter was saying, “War is definite!” She dropped to her knees in shock. The tears began as she prayed not only for her husband, who was in the Army reserves, but for her country and all of its leaders. As the day progressed, she stayed glued to the television. The reports were getting worse. Her wonderful, hardworking husband brought dinner home that night which was a real treat. He turned off the television so they could have a special night together as a family. It was a wonderful evening filled with stories and laughter. After they put the kids to bed they retreated back to the living room. He turned on the radio and they danced cheek to cheek. The phone rang before they went to bed that evening. 

            Five days later, she awoke, put on her robe, made breakfast for her husband and children, and sent her children to school, and kissed her husband as he left for war. This morning was not like the others. She skipped the cleaning, laundry, and other daily tasks to pray. It wasn’t a prayer with tears like before. She got down on her knees, clutching her bible tight to her chest and prayed for her husband, country, and its leaders. She was so proud of her husband for defending his country, but worried every hour of every day for his safety. Her children arrived safely at home that evening, but her husband did not. 

The next day, she awoke, put on her robe, made breakfast for her children, and sent them off of school. She felt she needed to do more for her country so she went to work at the factory her husband worked for before the war. She left after the kids went to school and was home before they got off the bus. After getting home she was exhausted, but knew dinner had to be made, laundry done, and house cleaned. The kids helped as much as they could, but they were still young. She wanted them to have a childhood or as much as they could in wartime. She did what she could to help defend our country at home.

Passing Hearts Chapter 5

Passing Hearts

Chapter 5

Trenton

            I stand here staring at the front door. Why did she just reject me? It’s been twenty years! Is Amanda really still that hurt? She’s gone before I can move my legs. There’s a part of me that wants to run after her and beg for forgiveness, but the stubborn part of me keeps me in the diner. I see Jennifer in the corner of my eye staring at me with a smirk on her face. The anger starts to well up at that smirk. She begins walking toward me, but I put up my hand.

            “To-go box, please!” I tell Jennifer with a harsh tone.

            That grin quickly fades. I sit down in the booth and put my face in my hands to calm myself.

            I hear Jennifer’s heals clack as she walks back to my booth. “She’s a fool, Sweetie.”

            I lift my head out of my hands, “No, I’ve been the fool.”

            Jennifer puts the to-go box on my table and walks away. That’s the smartest thing she’s ever done. I’m throwing my burger and fries in my box when I hear the diner doorbell ring. For a second I think it might be Amanda coming back. I look up slowly, with the smallest amount of hope I have left……it’s not her. I’ve gone to every stupid high school reunion in hopes she would be there. This is not how it’s going to end! I can’t just sit her and wait another twenty years. I’m going to find her so I can explain why I left that night and how much it hurt to leave her. I throw fifteen dollars on the table, grab my food, and storm out of the diner.

            I open my truck door, throw the food over in the passenger seat, and jump in. As I’m about to pull out onto the street, I stop. If I go chasing after her, I’ll seem desperate. I can turn left to go to Amanda’s mom’s house or turn right to my house. “No! I won’t live with regret another twenty years.” I whip the wheel to the left.

            I look around as I pull into her mom’s driveway. There’s only one car; her mom’s. Great!! I’m just about to back up and leave when Amanda’s mom comes running out on the front porch, waving her arms like a crazy lady. I put the truck in park, turn it off, and get out. She looks eager to talk to me.

            “Get on up here, Trent!” She yells at me and motions me to come up on the porch.

            “Yes, ma’am.” I do as she says and take a seat in the chair she motions to. She sits in the chair next to me.

            She’s tapping her fingers on the chair arm, making me a bit nervous. “Trenton Davis, you hurt my baby girl all those years ago. For that, I will never forget, but I will forgive if you do me one favor.”

            I’ve been looking down at my legs, feeling nervous. I look up and over at her, “I’ll do anything, ma’am.”

            Mrs. Waters gives me a quick nod. “Never hurt her again young man.”

            “I won’t, I promise. Where did she go? I want to find her and explain myself and beg for her forgiveness.” I’m now on the edge of my seat ready to jump up and go find Amanda.

            “Calm down, Trent.” She taps my hand with hers. “Allow an old woman to give you some advice.” I sit back in my chair and try to relax. “Leave the past where it belongs. You two belong together now. Twenty years ago was the wrong time. You both needed to live life a little and grow up. Now that you’ve done that, you all can finally have a life together and hopefully give me some grandbabies before I die.” She was matter of fact about the grandkids.

            I smile, nod my head, and look down at my legs, too nervous to ask, but I have to ask. “So, does that mean she wants a future with me?”

            “Oh Trent, Honey.” She laughs at me. “Men are so clueless about women.” I look over to see her shaking her head side to side. “Yes, Amanda wants a future with you. The only reason she ran out on you at the diner was because she thought you were still married. I never told her you were divorced. Just never came up in the few conversations I’ve had with her.”

            I wipe my forehead. Didn’t even realize I was sweating. “So, she’s not still mad about twenty years ago?”

            “No, Trent. Now, go get our girl!” Mrs. Waters stands up and shews me off with her hand.

            I don’t waste any time getting to and into my truck. I give Mrs. Waters a wave bye as I back out of the driveway. The best place to start looking is the diner. Maybe she headed back there to find me. As I get closer, my nerves kick in. I’m sweating like I did before our first date. Amanda is the only woman to ever make me this nervous. There’s something about her that causes my stomach to have those flutter things that women always talk about. I never had those until Amanda either. Will it be this way in ten years?

            The diner is finally in sight and the parking lot is full. I have no idea what her car looks like. I pass the front and look in, but there’s a glare from the evening sun, so I can’t see in. Looks like I’ll have to park out back. As I pull into the back, I hear a horn coming from behind me. I pull into the first spot and look into my rearview mirror to see someone jump out of a truck and run toward me. Who in the world?

            I get out of my truck and see Ben running at me. “Why are you running?”
            Ben stops in front of me and puts his finger in my face, “Where the hell have you been?” He’s shouting at me.

            I’m shocked that he just yelled and put his finger in my face. “I’ve been looking for Amanda. She in there?”

            “Who? Ugh, I’ve been calling and looking for you for the last hour, Man. So has your daddy and momma!”

            Ben’s still shouting at me. “My cell has been in my truck.” I get it from the console and look at it. “Sorry, Man, the phone’s been off. Why is everyone looking for me?”

            He takes a deep breath, “One of the drills stopped out on the rig. When the fools went to try and fix it, there was an explosion under water. Nothing’s leaking, as of now. Your daddy has already sent out a dive team, but he wants our crew out on the rig an hour ago. I’ve sent all the other guys ahead. The boat’s waiting to take us out. Your dad is livid. He even made me blush when he was talking to the crew leader out there. I never heard such words coming out of his mouth in the thirty-eight years I’ve known him. Your momma’s meeting us at the docks with a packed bag for you. Let’s go!” He turns to walk back to his truck.

            Ben gets into his truck and backs out of the parking lot. I stop right before I get into my truck.  I want to go into the diner for one look, but as I start to walk toward the diner, Ben honks. I kick the gravel in the parking lot, sending rocks into the side of the building, get into my truck, and head to the docks. I think of Amanda, sitting in our booth in the back, wearing the blue sundress she had on earlier, waiting. I can’t do this to her again, but an oil leak would be detrimental to our company. Not to mention the affect it will have on the environment and all of the businesses on the coast. I pick up my cell phone to call her, only to realize I don’t have her phone number. The longer I drive, the more ticked I get. Dang it! I grip the steering wheel in frustration. I’m about ready to whip it around and go back to the diner, but look ahead long enough to see momma standing at my normal parking space in front of the docks.

            I pull in, get out, and give her a hug. She gives me a slap on my arm, “Young man, your daddy is hot as fire right now. You get on that boat and fix this problem. Hear me?”

            “Yes ma’am. Tell him I’m sorry. I had my phone off and was looking for Amanda. She came into town today.” I take the green canvas bag she hands to me and we start walking toward the docks.
            “Well, Honey, if I see her I will tell her what happened. I’m sure she’ll understand.” She pats me on the back. “I know how you feel about her, but you got to take care of your future right now if you want a future with Amanda. I’m sure you won’t be out there long. You can talk to her when you get back.”

            I stop and look down into my mom’s eyes. “I can’t lose Amanda for another twenty years. Please check the diner before you go home. I asked her to the reunion, but she said no because she thought I was still married. I want her to know I’m not and I really want to take her out.” My mom puts her hand on my mouth to hush me.

            “Sweetie, it’s time to go. I will find her, I promise.” She kisses me on my cheek and swats my arm to be off.

            I get on the boat and look back at my momma in desperation. She understands my look, nods yes, and waves bye. I hope I will not be gone too long. For the first time, I would rather be home than on the rig. Amanda and I will be together….soon!

Passing Hearts Chapter 4

  Passing Hearts
Chapter 4

Amanda

Good grief, this town hasn’t changed in twenty years. The drive into “down town” from mom’s house was the same as it was the last time I drove it, which was two days after high school graduation and the day after getting stood up for the only date that I had ever really looked forward to.

“Snap out of it!” I fuss at myself as I get out of my car and start walking toward the front door of the diner. Mom just had to have some barbeque tonight and she just had to have me drive in to town to get it. As I open the door and the bell dings, I feel like I’m being transported back in time. NOTHING has changed in this place. Not even the cash register.

Before I know what has hit me, I’m bombarded by a blonde waitress in a short black skirt. She has me wrapped in a back-popping bear hug, then pulls back and looks me up and down at arm’s length. Oh no, it’s Cheerleader Jennifer, with the same big hair and heavy makeup, only twenty years older.

“Oh my goodness! I can’t believe you’re here. It’s been twenty years. Are you here for the reunion? Oh, I have to call all of our friends. EEEEEE! This will be the best reunion ever!” Holy Cow! She’s squealing in my ear.

Thankfully, there is a ding from behind the counter. Jennifer lets go of me and starts to rush off toward the kitchen. She turns around just before she disappears behind the double doors. “I’m so excited that you’re here! We’ve got to catch up!” With a wink, she disappears and I’m left standing there completely and utterly confused. I was never part of Jennifer’s world in high school. I can’t imagine why she would want to catch up now.

I rub my hands down the front of my pale blue sun dress to smooth out the aftermath of my Cheerleader Jennifer encounter and turn to see everyone in the diner just staring at me. I look back down at my dress to make sure I don’t have something all over it. That could be the only reason everyone is staring. I also make a mental note to give Gretchen a stern talking to when I get back to the office. I cannot believe I let her talk me into coming back here. What was I thinking?

After I’ve checked and rechecked my appearance, I take a deep breath, and finally look back up. Everyone is still staring at me but I don’t really see them. Instead, I see the most beautiful blue eyes looking straight at me. The package attached to those beautiful eyes is equally just as wonderful to behold. Wait a minute. It can’t be, can it? Is that Trenton Davis? Oh my goodness, it is him! A slight panic starts to set in. He’s sitting at the same booth that we sat at during our one and only date. We sat there and talked for hours about everything. It was so easy to talk to him, too. I had never been that at ease with anyone, ever. We even planned what would have been our first real date; the one he never showed up for. Our eyes are still locked and momentarily my breath catches with all of the memories come flooding back. I want to turn around and just leave, but I’m drawn to him just like the proverbial moth to the flame. Before I know it, I’m standing directly in front of him with my hand stuck out like an idiot. “Hi, Trent.”

Trent takes my hand and quickly pulls me into a hug. All I can manage is a gasp when he whispers in my ear, “I’ve missed you, Amanda”. Chills bloom from everywhere at that moment. I haven’t had a feeling like this since the last time Trent and I were in this place. Slowly, but surely, my arms find their way around him and I feel like I’m holding on for dear life.

So many emotions and sensations come rushing at me all at once. I feel safe and cherished just by being wrapped in Trent’s arms. Then I feel alone, hurt, and betrayed at the same time because he left so quickly and I never knew why or what I’d done. But having his arms around me feels so nice. He smells of a musky body wash and good, clean, sweaty man. I can feel the muscles in his arms around me, in his chest that my head is resting against, and in his back that my hands are touching. He’s very strong but soft and welcoming at the same time. I’m completely lost.

“Ahem.” I feel someone tapping on Trent’s arm. “Come on you two, y’all can break that up any time.” Oh no, it’s Jennifer. “Besides, I’ve got your supper here, Trent.”

Trent slowly lets me go and backs away slightly. Jennifer is standing beside of Trent, glaring at the two of us like we were some type of terrible, nasty bug in need of squashing. It is very obvious that she is annoyed but I have no idea why. She’s holding a plate with a huge hamburger on it and it’s over flowing with fries. Trent looks from me to Jennifer and back to me, and then he simply rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders. I almost laugh out loud but I don’t think that would be appropriate at the moment. Trent slides back into the booth and Jennifer basically flings his plate across the table at him without uttering a word. Then she turns to me. If looks could kill, I’d be dropping over right here and now. “I’ll have your order ready in just a few minutes,” she barks at me as she flips her hair over her shoulder and struts off toward the kitchen. Oh well, all I can do is stand there and stare; open mouthed and dumbfounded. And to think, we needed to ‘catch up’ not two minutes ago.

“Would you care to sit down for a minute, Amanda?” Oh my, Trent’s voice is still like velvet as he says my name.

I turn my focus back to Trent. Against my better judgment, my body willfully obeys his request, and I sit in the seat across from him. As the vinyl of the old booth seat squeaks when I sit, I’m jolted back to reality. I need to just get my food and go. Nothing good can come from sitting here staring at Trent. I know he’s married. I take a quick look at his left hand and I don’t see a wedding band, but that doesn’t mean anything. Lots of men I know don’t wear a ring. I don’t need this kind of drama and distraction in my life. I’ve got to go, that’s just all there is to it.

“Look, Trent…” I look up and sputter out.

“It’s really good to see you, Amanda…,” Trent says at the same time.

We both smile uneasily at each other. I suppose this is one of those awkward, after high school moments that I really didn’t want to ever deal with. Yes, Amanda, it’s time to go.

“It’s really good to see you too, Trent.” That’s no lie. He’s even better looking than I allowed myself to remember. “I should really get going. Momma likes to have her supper over with before ‘Wheel of Fortune’ comes on.” I smile at him as I put my hands on top of the table to force myself up out of the seat. Just before I get up, Trent puts his hand on mine.

“Stay. Please?” Trent says softly.

When I look at him, he is searching my face. His eyes are pleading; they actually say more than his words just did. I can’t resist, so I relax back into the seat. Trent relaxes too and moves his hand from mine. I miss his touch immediately but try not to let him see that.

“I owe you an apology, Amanda, for not calling you. You know, back then.” Trent looks at me as if he’s struggling for what to say.

“Trent, that was twenty years ago. We were different people in different places then.” I look down at my hands, remembering briefly how much I enjoyed that date with him and how bad it hurt when he left town without a word. “It’s ok. Really.” I lie to him, and try to make it as convincing as I possibly can. We sit there in truly awkward silence for a minute. When I look back at him, he’s still just watching me. He hasn’t touched a bite of his food.

“How is your mother?” Nice change of subject there, Trent.

“She’s good. Still as demanding and crazy as ever.” Probably even more so, I think but don’t say out loud. “How are your folks?”

“They’re good. Dad’s still controlling everyone and everything. Mom’s still taking care of everyone.” He grins a little when he’s talking about his parents. That grin still melts my heart, even after all this time. I really need to snap out of this.

We sit and stare at each other in more awkward silence. I wish I knew what he was thinking.  I’ve interviewed Heads of State all over the world, but I can’t seem to find the words to speak to Trent. Thankfully, the silence is broken when the man in the kitchen shouts out “Waters?” I wave to him to let him know that I’ll be right there, then turn back to Trent. Now, it’s really time for me to go.

“Guess that’s my cue. It’s been nice to see you again, Trent.” This time I do stand up, but Trent stands up with me. He grabs both of my hands in his. This is dèjá vu. We stood here, just like this the last time we were in this diner together; he sweetly leaned in and kissed me and then we said goodnight; promising to see each other the next night. Only, he left town the next day. And now, he is looking at me in the exact same way. I can’t do this! I’ve got to get out of here!  

“Pick you up at six Saturday night for the Reunion?” He asks. “That is why you’ve come home, isn’t it?” Oh my goodness! My breath catches and my heart rate picks up when he asks me that. I can’t go through that again. Besides, he’s married. What am I still doing here? This is all just too much.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think that’s a good idea, Trent.” I pull my hands out of his and turn around without another look. I’m afraid if I look at him now that I’ll break down and cry right here for the whole town to see. I don’t want Trent to know, nor do I want the whole town to know, just how much that one time date meant to me and just how much him leaving town hurt me. I hurry to the counter, hand the cook a twenty dollar bill, grab my order, and run out of the restaurant.

By the time I get in the car, the tears are falling like the rain of a summer thunderstorm. I can’t believe that he would be that hurtful. Apologize to me one minute as if he were truly sincere about it, then ask me out knowing good and well that he couldn’t take me. I should never have come here. I can’t believe that I left myself open for that, again. When I get back to Mom’s, I’ll pack and head back to New York.

The rest of the drive is a blur. Momma is waiting on the front porch for me. Twenty years haven’t changed her very much. She is still a tiny lady with a whole lot of sass. She still wears her hair short and in soft curls. The only difference now as opposed to twenty years ago is that she has finally had to start wearing glasses. As I put the car into park, I know I’ll never be able to hide my tears from Mom, so just like twenty years ago; I get out of the car and run right into her arms.

“Oh, Honey. What’s wrong?” She sets the bag of food from the diner down beside the swing, then wraps her arms around me. Together we just collapse into the porch swing. She holds me and pats my back, just like she did many years before. I cry ‘til I can finally sit up and talk to her. Looking into her eyes still makes me feel like she can read the very depths of my soul.

“I ran into Trent Davis at the diner.” I really don’t want to hash this out with her, but it starts spilling as I get up and start pacing the front porch. “He apologized for standing me up years ago. Then, turned around and asked me to go to the reunion with him. Ugh! What is it with men? I mean, I know he’s married and he has the nerve to ask me out! Does he really take me for a fool?”

“He’s not married, Amanda.” I snap back around and look at Mom. I’m sure my mouth is hanging wide open.

“What?”

“He’s been divorced for about eight or nine months now.”

I stand there and stare at my mom. I don’t know whether to cry, scream, laugh, fall over, or what to do. Finally, I leap off the porch, run and jump in the car, and just go. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’ve got to go somewhere.

“I’ll leave the porch light on, Dear.” I hear mom shout as I back out of the driveway.