Passing Hearts Chapter 4

  Passing Hearts
Chapter 4

Amanda

Good grief, this town hasn’t changed in twenty years. The drive into “down town” from mom’s house was the same as it was the last time I drove it, which was two days after high school graduation and the day after getting stood up for the only date that I had ever really looked forward to.

“Snap out of it!” I fuss at myself as I get out of my car and start walking toward the front door of the diner. Mom just had to have some barbeque tonight and she just had to have me drive in to town to get it. As I open the door and the bell dings, I feel like I’m being transported back in time. NOTHING has changed in this place. Not even the cash register.

Before I know what has hit me, I’m bombarded by a blonde waitress in a short black skirt. She has me wrapped in a back-popping bear hug, then pulls back and looks me up and down at arm’s length. Oh no, it’s Cheerleader Jennifer, with the same big hair and heavy makeup, only twenty years older.

“Oh my goodness! I can’t believe you’re here. It’s been twenty years. Are you here for the reunion? Oh, I have to call all of our friends. EEEEEE! This will be the best reunion ever!” Holy Cow! She’s squealing in my ear.

Thankfully, there is a ding from behind the counter. Jennifer lets go of me and starts to rush off toward the kitchen. She turns around just before she disappears behind the double doors. “I’m so excited that you’re here! We’ve got to catch up!” With a wink, she disappears and I’m left standing there completely and utterly confused. I was never part of Jennifer’s world in high school. I can’t imagine why she would want to catch up now.

I rub my hands down the front of my pale blue sun dress to smooth out the aftermath of my Cheerleader Jennifer encounter and turn to see everyone in the diner just staring at me. I look back down at my dress to make sure I don’t have something all over it. That could be the only reason everyone is staring. I also make a mental note to give Gretchen a stern talking to when I get back to the office. I cannot believe I let her talk me into coming back here. What was I thinking?

After I’ve checked and rechecked my appearance, I take a deep breath, and finally look back up. Everyone is still staring at me but I don’t really see them. Instead, I see the most beautiful blue eyes looking straight at me. The package attached to those beautiful eyes is equally just as wonderful to behold. Wait a minute. It can’t be, can it? Is that Trenton Davis? Oh my goodness, it is him! A slight panic starts to set in. He’s sitting at the same booth that we sat at during our one and only date. We sat there and talked for hours about everything. It was so easy to talk to him, too. I had never been that at ease with anyone, ever. We even planned what would have been our first real date; the one he never showed up for. Our eyes are still locked and momentarily my breath catches with all of the memories come flooding back. I want to turn around and just leave, but I’m drawn to him just like the proverbial moth to the flame. Before I know it, I’m standing directly in front of him with my hand stuck out like an idiot. “Hi, Trent.”

Trent takes my hand and quickly pulls me into a hug. All I can manage is a gasp when he whispers in my ear, “I’ve missed you, Amanda”. Chills bloom from everywhere at that moment. I haven’t had a feeling like this since the last time Trent and I were in this place. Slowly, but surely, my arms find their way around him and I feel like I’m holding on for dear life.

So many emotions and sensations come rushing at me all at once. I feel safe and cherished just by being wrapped in Trent’s arms. Then I feel alone, hurt, and betrayed at the same time because he left so quickly and I never knew why or what I’d done. But having his arms around me feels so nice. He smells of a musky body wash and good, clean, sweaty man. I can feel the muscles in his arms around me, in his chest that my head is resting against, and in his back that my hands are touching. He’s very strong but soft and welcoming at the same time. I’m completely lost.

“Ahem.” I feel someone tapping on Trent’s arm. “Come on you two, y’all can break that up any time.” Oh no, it’s Jennifer. “Besides, I’ve got your supper here, Trent.”

Trent slowly lets me go and backs away slightly. Jennifer is standing beside of Trent, glaring at the two of us like we were some type of terrible, nasty bug in need of squashing. It is very obvious that she is annoyed but I have no idea why. She’s holding a plate with a huge hamburger on it and it’s over flowing with fries. Trent looks from me to Jennifer and back to me, and then he simply rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders. I almost laugh out loud but I don’t think that would be appropriate at the moment. Trent slides back into the booth and Jennifer basically flings his plate across the table at him without uttering a word. Then she turns to me. If looks could kill, I’d be dropping over right here and now. “I’ll have your order ready in just a few minutes,” she barks at me as she flips her hair over her shoulder and struts off toward the kitchen. Oh well, all I can do is stand there and stare; open mouthed and dumbfounded. And to think, we needed to ‘catch up’ not two minutes ago.

“Would you care to sit down for a minute, Amanda?” Oh my, Trent’s voice is still like velvet as he says my name.

I turn my focus back to Trent. Against my better judgment, my body willfully obeys his request, and I sit in the seat across from him. As the vinyl of the old booth seat squeaks when I sit, I’m jolted back to reality. I need to just get my food and go. Nothing good can come from sitting here staring at Trent. I know he’s married. I take a quick look at his left hand and I don’t see a wedding band, but that doesn’t mean anything. Lots of men I know don’t wear a ring. I don’t need this kind of drama and distraction in my life. I’ve got to go, that’s just all there is to it.

“Look, Trent…” I look up and sputter out.

“It’s really good to see you, Amanda…,” Trent says at the same time.

We both smile uneasily at each other. I suppose this is one of those awkward, after high school moments that I really didn’t want to ever deal with. Yes, Amanda, it’s time to go.

“It’s really good to see you too, Trent.” That’s no lie. He’s even better looking than I allowed myself to remember. “I should really get going. Momma likes to have her supper over with before ‘Wheel of Fortune’ comes on.” I smile at him as I put my hands on top of the table to force myself up out of the seat. Just before I get up, Trent puts his hand on mine.

“Stay. Please?” Trent says softly.

When I look at him, he is searching my face. His eyes are pleading; they actually say more than his words just did. I can’t resist, so I relax back into the seat. Trent relaxes too and moves his hand from mine. I miss his touch immediately but try not to let him see that.

“I owe you an apology, Amanda, for not calling you. You know, back then.” Trent looks at me as if he’s struggling for what to say.

“Trent, that was twenty years ago. We were different people in different places then.” I look down at my hands, remembering briefly how much I enjoyed that date with him and how bad it hurt when he left town without a word. “It’s ok. Really.” I lie to him, and try to make it as convincing as I possibly can. We sit there in truly awkward silence for a minute. When I look back at him, he’s still just watching me. He hasn’t touched a bite of his food.

“How is your mother?” Nice change of subject there, Trent.

“She’s good. Still as demanding and crazy as ever.” Probably even more so, I think but don’t say out loud. “How are your folks?”

“They’re good. Dad’s still controlling everyone and everything. Mom’s still taking care of everyone.” He grins a little when he’s talking about his parents. That grin still melts my heart, even after all this time. I really need to snap out of this.

We sit and stare at each other in more awkward silence. I wish I knew what he was thinking.  I’ve interviewed Heads of State all over the world, but I can’t seem to find the words to speak to Trent. Thankfully, the silence is broken when the man in the kitchen shouts out “Waters?” I wave to him to let him know that I’ll be right there, then turn back to Trent. Now, it’s really time for me to go.

“Guess that’s my cue. It’s been nice to see you again, Trent.” This time I do stand up, but Trent stands up with me. He grabs both of my hands in his. This is dèjá vu. We stood here, just like this the last time we were in this diner together; he sweetly leaned in and kissed me and then we said goodnight; promising to see each other the next night. Only, he left town the next day. And now, he is looking at me in the exact same way. I can’t do this! I’ve got to get out of here!  

“Pick you up at six Saturday night for the Reunion?” He asks. “That is why you’ve come home, isn’t it?” Oh my goodness! My breath catches and my heart rate picks up when he asks me that. I can’t go through that again. Besides, he’s married. What am I still doing here? This is all just too much.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think that’s a good idea, Trent.” I pull my hands out of his and turn around without another look. I’m afraid if I look at him now that I’ll break down and cry right here for the whole town to see. I don’t want Trent to know, nor do I want the whole town to know, just how much that one time date meant to me and just how much him leaving town hurt me. I hurry to the counter, hand the cook a twenty dollar bill, grab my order, and run out of the restaurant.

By the time I get in the car, the tears are falling like the rain of a summer thunderstorm. I can’t believe that he would be that hurtful. Apologize to me one minute as if he were truly sincere about it, then ask me out knowing good and well that he couldn’t take me. I should never have come here. I can’t believe that I left myself open for that, again. When I get back to Mom’s, I’ll pack and head back to New York.

The rest of the drive is a blur. Momma is waiting on the front porch for me. Twenty years haven’t changed her very much. She is still a tiny lady with a whole lot of sass. She still wears her hair short and in soft curls. The only difference now as opposed to twenty years ago is that she has finally had to start wearing glasses. As I put the car into park, I know I’ll never be able to hide my tears from Mom, so just like twenty years ago; I get out of the car and run right into her arms.

“Oh, Honey. What’s wrong?” She sets the bag of food from the diner down beside the swing, then wraps her arms around me. Together we just collapse into the porch swing. She holds me and pats my back, just like she did many years before. I cry ‘til I can finally sit up and talk to her. Looking into her eyes still makes me feel like she can read the very depths of my soul.

“I ran into Trent Davis at the diner.” I really don’t want to hash this out with her, but it starts spilling as I get up and start pacing the front porch. “He apologized for standing me up years ago. Then, turned around and asked me to go to the reunion with him. Ugh! What is it with men? I mean, I know he’s married and he has the nerve to ask me out! Does he really take me for a fool?”

“He’s not married, Amanda.” I snap back around and look at Mom. I’m sure my mouth is hanging wide open.

“What?”

“He’s been divorced for about eight or nine months now.”

I stand there and stare at my mom. I don’t know whether to cry, scream, laugh, fall over, or what to do. Finally, I leap off the porch, run and jump in the car, and just go. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’ve got to go somewhere.

“I’ll leave the porch light on, Dear.” I hear mom shout as I back out of the driveway.

Passing Hearts Chapter 3

Passing Hearts

Chapter 3

Trenton

            For the last four days, I’ve been avoiding everyone other than my parents. Phone calls have gone to voicemail, emails have gone unanswered, and texts have gone unread. My ex-wife has driven by three or four times a day and I’m beyond annoyed. She is the main reason I’ve been staying put on the ranch. How am I going to get rid of her? My dad’s ready to get a restraining order and my mom wants to give my ex a piece of her mind. Way too much drama for me. If I wasn’t so tired I’d be ready to get back on the rig for another few weeks.

            I have woke up every morning dreaming of one woman, Amanda Waters. I go to sleep thinking of her and wake thinking of her. I haven’t had dreams like this since I was a teenage boy. Maybe I’ve been single too long. I walk over to my table in the kitchen to see that high school reunion invitation sitting in the middle of the table. Ugh! I pick it up to look at it one more time and throw it across the table. I need to get that woman out of my head! She’s not coming back. Hell, I wouldn’t if I were her!

After finally reading my texts, and being threatened by Ben, numerous times to get my butt to the bar for a beer, I decide it’s time to get out and face the town’s people. They are a nosey bunch of bored people and some of the women are relentless. Jennifer, being one of them. I’m sure I’ll run into her. Typical small town story for us. She was head cheerleader, I was quarterback, and we dated for a while. We did the whole prom thing as king and queen, but that was it. I left right after high school and she stayed in town to work at her family’s diner, the only restaurant in town. As soon as the divorce came through, she started hitting on me. Jennifer’s been married twice and has three kids. Ummm, just escaped the ex-wife’s madness, I don’t need anymore. I didn’t have feelings for Jennifer back in high school and I definitely don’t now. Not sure why I keep attracting the crazy ones.

As I drive into town, I look behind me to see my ex-wife following me. This has to stop! I pull over and park in a small parking lot beside the town diner. She pulls in the spot beside me. Guess it’s time to be up front, in her face, and downright mean to the woman. I slowly get out of my truck. She leaps out of her red BMW M3 convertible. She just stands there staring at me get out of my truck.

I lean on the back of my black Ford F-350 cross my arms, and my legs. “What do you want, Linda?” She stops, looks me up and down, and starts to walk closer to me. I put my hand up, “Far enough.”

Linda stops again and puts her hands on her hips. “I just want to give you a hug. I haven’t seen you for a while. Thought we could talk.” She smiles that smile that got me the first time I met her.

Nope, does nothing for me! “Linda, we are done. No need for talkin’.”

She puts her hands on her hips and kicks one leg out to the side. I’m going to let her get it out then I’m outta here. Not sure what I saw in her. She’s too skinny and her skin’s starting to look like leather because she’s out in the sun so much. What the hell was I thinking? I must have been really lonely.

“Oh yes we do need to talk, Trenton Davis! I gave you five years of my life and you are not going to walk away from me! I still love you, Trent. Now, I apologized for screwing around, but you were always gone. I needed your attention and you wouldn’t give it to me. If you would’ve stayed home and maybe worked in the main office, I wouldn’t have had any need to go out with, Garret. Come on Baby, you’ve had enough time to get over your man-pride thing. It’s time we worked this out. I know you still love me.” She smiles and winks at me.

“Really?” I laugh a little. “No, I don’t love you! Are you seriously blaming me for your cheating?” I rub my face with my hands to calm down. I can tell she has more to say so I cross my arms again to get comfortable. She is impossible!

“Why yes I am blaming you! I told you I had needs. Come on, Trent, you haven’t dated anyone so you must still have feelings for me.” Linda moves a little closer to me. “Let’s go to the beach house and I’ll show you just how much I’ve missed you.” She walks to me and puts her hands on my chest.

I quickly grab her hands and lightly push her away. “I told you, I want nothing to do with you. The feelings I had, left the day I caught you with, Garret. Now, leave me and my family alone. Move on with your life!” I stand to my full height and she backs away. I’m still trying to stay calm. “Last I heard, Garret’s, still single. Get to it!” I walk away toward the diner.

Linda starts crying, but it does nothing to me. She used to cry to get her way; now it’s just pathetic. As I get to the door, she starts screaming cuss words at me. What a piece of work! I pull open the door and go into the diner. I walk straight back to my old high school booth. It’s empty, thankfully. I slide into the back corner, relax, and let out the frustrated sigh I’ve been holding in since all of the drama in the parking lot. I look around and see everyone in the diner staring at me. I’m sure they heard it all, but I could care less. They’ll be gossiping about it until something more interesting happens in this small town.

It’s been a while since I’ve been in here, but nothing’s changed since it opened in the sixties. Still has the red vinyl seats, black and white checkered tile, and black tables. Even has the long counter at the front with red vinyl stools for the old men and their daily coffee. I take a deep breath and inhale one of the best smells. There is one thing I have missed about this diner. Okay there are two things I have missed about this diner. The cheeseburgers and my one and only date with Amanda Waters. I lean my head against the back of the booth to remember that night. Then, I hear a familiar laugh and clicking of heels. I close my eyes. No, please not today!

“Well hi there, Sweetie. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.” Jennifer’s southern drawl and high pitched voice are like sharp nails on a chalkboard.

I open my eyes and raise my head to be the gentlemen my Momma taught me to be, “Hi, Jennifer. Yep, been working out on the rig.”

“Oh, Honey, I know. I talked to your momma a few days ago.” She sits down on the seat opposite me. “I bet I know what you want.” She girly giggles, smiles, and winks at me. “You want a cheeseburger, Coke, and to take me to the reunion.”

She is persistent. “Yes. You’re right about two.”

Jennifer puts her hand on mine, the one that I mistakenly rested on the table. “So no Coke, Sweetie?”

“I’ll have the cheeseburger and Coke. I’m not going to the reunion, Jennifer.” I slip my hand out from under hers and put it down on the seat.

She gets up, readjusts her very short black skirt, writes my order down, and walks away. I’m sure that will not be the end to her endless flirtation. I’m exhausted by all of this woman drama. Why did I come out today? As I’m about to get up and get my order to go, I hear the bell on top of the front door ding. I look to the front to see long dark hair and stunning blue-grey eyes. It can’t be her. I wipe my eyes with the palms of my hands and look again. All I can see now is the back side of this beautiful woman standing at the cash register.

Jennifer squeals, runs over to the woman with dark hair, and wraps her arms around her. She releases her and holds her at arm’s length, “Oh my goodness! I can’t believe you’re here. It’s been twenty years. Are you here for the reunion? Oh, I have to call all of our friends. EEEEEE! This will be the best reunion ever!” Jennifer is laying it on thick and the poor woman with dark hair is just standing there looking a little shocked.

There is a ding at the service counter for an order to be served. Jennifer lets go of the woman, turns, and runs to get the order. Now, everyone in the diner is staring at this woman. I have to admit I’m staring too because she looks just like……

The dark haired woman turns around and looks straight back to me. My eyes widen and I’m sure I look like a deer in headlights. It is her! She’s walking toward me. What do I say? It’s been twenty years. Last time I saw her I asked her out on a second date, but moved to Houston the next day. I never called to tell her and I’ve regretted it every day since. I can’t screw this up.

“Hi, Trent.” She puts her hand out for me to shake it.

I get up, still in shock, and pull her into a hug instead.  I lean down and whisper next to her ear, “I’ve missed you, Amanda.”

I finally have her in my arms again and I’m not letting go!

Passing Hearts Chapter 2

Passing Hearts

Chapter 2

Amanda

            “I cannot believe it’s been three months since I’ve stepped foot into this office,” I think to myself as I walk through the door to my fifteenth floor, corner office of the World News Network building. I’ve been traveling from every far-reaching corner of Israel, reporting on anything and everything that WNN deems news worthy. It’s good to be back in New York, but that pile of mail sitting on the corner of my desk, is making me second guess coming into work today, instead of staying in bed with the covers pulled over my head. With all of the traveling, flight delays and layovers, and my cell completely dying on me somewhere over Indonesia, I’ve been basically incommunicado for the past two days.

I set my messenger bag and purse down beside of my desk and slide down into my chair. I’m tired and cranky and I really should have stayed at home. Since I’m here, all I can do now is to take a deep breath in, shake off the fog, and get started. One wiggle of the mouse later and I see that I have thirty-five emails waiting, along with a notice for a two o’clock meeting with my editor that I didn’t know I had today. Scanning the emails quickly, at least twenty of them are from my mother. Ugh, this is going to be a long day. I decide to turn my attention to the stack of documents on the corner of my desk. I pull the whole stack over in front of me, and just start with the top. The first thing I run across is the folder with phone messages that were left with my assistant, Gretchen. Thumbing through them, I see fifteen messages from my mother. What could possibly be so important that she would call and email my office so many times? I’ll deal with all of those messages later. I set the folder aside and move on to the snail mail. On top  is a familiar white envelope; one that I’ve seen every year about this time for the last twenty years – the invitation to my high school reunion. This explains the messages from Mother. I really do not want to deal with this right now.

“Ugh! Why did I even bother coming in here today?” I whine as I lay my head down on my desk and close my eyes.

“Because you missed me terribly and have left me here for three months alone, to field calls and messages from your mom. Not to mention leaving me to get my gossip fix from the overly zealous secretarial staff. You know I like my gossip straight up without all of the girly fluff and giggle.” Says the gravelly voice of Gretchen, who is most definitely, the world’s best assistant.

I take a deep breath and smell the heavenly aroma of coffee. Keeping my head down, I mumble, “I will give you a raise if that’s a huge cup of coffee for me.”

I lift my head slowly to look at Gretchen. She’s the epitome of current fashion, and thank goodness for that, or I’d be in definite trouble when I have to appear on air. She is tall, slim, legs a mile long, with long dark hair, and looks as if she should be on a fashion runway instead of my assistant. Today her dark hair is as straight as her charcoal gray pencil skirt. Her pale pink blouse adds just a touch of color to her look and her black, patent leather heels, are every bit of four inches tall. Gretchen is a beautiful woman, inside and out, and I’m very lucky that she took this job. I don’t know what I would do without her.

“Please tell me that coffee is for me?” I finally ask her.

“Did you honestly think that I would come into your office empty handed? Pa-lease!” I take a sip as I lean back in my chair. Looking up at Gretchen, I realize I have missed her sassy banter first thing in the morning.

“Thank you. As always, you’re a life saver.” I take another long, deep pull from my coffee.

Just the way I like it. Strong house blend with just the right amount of half and half. Perfection in a white paper cup!

“I know, you owe me, as always.” Gretchen is still smirking as she takes a seat in front of my desk. “You look like crap by the way.”

“Gee thanks.” I retort. I’m sure my blue jeans, baggie sweatshirt, running shoes, messy bun hair, and minimal makeup doesn’t really help my appearance in the least, but it was the best that I could muster this morning. “You know I don’t do well with traveling all day and trying to sleep when I get home from a long trip. Thank you for the basket of wine and cheese in my apartment when I arrived home, by the way.” Gretchen nods at me. I take a deep breath and get settled for the day. “So, what is the latest going on here?”

“Well, other than your mom calling me every fifteen minutes the past couple of days to see if you’re back in town, nothing new. Tell me you received her messages, texts, and emails, because if she calls again, I might throw the phone against the wall.” Gretchen gives me the same frustrated look I give her while I am on the phone with Mother. She relaxes a little as she sits back in her chair and gets ready for serious conversation.  “Tell me about Israel.” She smiles and starts raising her eyebrows. “Did you meet any gorgeous men? And more importantly, did you bring one back for me?”

“Israel was truly an experience. It is both beautiful and wild in some places. The historical parts are absolutely amazing. The areas where the wars and fighting have reached are terribly sad. Overall, I am very glad that I took this opportunity. I found some true, internal perspective while I was away. I remembered what it feels like to write real journalistic pieces, instead of just thirty second, fluffy, that air on the nightly news. I found me again, and it felt amazing.” I realize I’m rambling, but my ever-faithful Gretchen is just smiling as I go on. I decide to reign in the finding-me part of things and hit the real question that she wants the answer to. “Sadly, no, I didn’t find any specific fellas, nor did I bring one home. I met many different people, but not like that.”

“That’s truly sad Amanda. I send you to another country and you can’t even find a nice guy, with a swarthy accent, to knock you off your feet?” Gretchen sighs, “Whatever am I going to do with you?”

“You know I live vicariously through you, Gretchen.”  She just smiles at that.

“Then you should take me with you next time so I can show you how its done.” We both laugh at that. “Now that we’ve weeded through the important things, what’s this about?” Gretchen leans over and picks up the envelope along with the invitation off of my desk and starts waving it back and forth.

“That, is a terrible reminder of my past and none of your business.” I reply a little more harshly than I intend. I lean forward to try to grab it out of her hand, but, as usual, she is too fast and has already begun reading.

“The Galveston County High School Class of 1994 cordially invites you to the celebration of our Twentieth year Reunion. 7:00 p.m., on Saturday June 21, 2014 at the Glenrochie Country Club. RSVP requested.” I reach out my hand for the invitation, but Gretchen waves it in the air again. She gives me a big smirk. “Ooo-la-la! High school reunion. I have worked with you for six years and have seen these envelopes coming in to your office every year, but you have never gone. So, spill. What’s with the drama?”

“It’s just a long time ago Gretchen.” I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. Images of the terribly nerdy, awkward girl that I was, suddenly come back to me. “I’m not that person anymore, and I don’t know that I want to rehash all of those memories again. High school was not a pleasant time for me. Even the twenty years away from it is has not changed that.”

“Don’t you ever wonder what happened to some of the people you went to high school with? That’s the only reason I go to mine. I had to know if the quarterback is now fat and bald and if the Home Coming Queen is fat, divorced, and living in government housing?” Gretchen is giggling now. I can feel her watching me.

“I don’t care about any of that. Gretchen, I never really had any friends in high school. I was not among the popular kids. I haven’t heard from or talked to any of the people I graduated with. I left town the day after graduation, and other than visiting my mother for a couple of days at Christmas every year, I’ve not been back for anything.” I sit up, open my eyes, and look at her.

“But wasn’t there just one person that you connected with that you would like to see again? Come on, Amanda! You’re a reporter for WNN, who is known world-wide for your work. You should take some time off and show those country folk the person you have become.”

I am beginning to get really exasperated with this conversation. “There was only one boy that was ever nice to me. His name was Trenton. Last I heard, he’s married and has moved on. As for the rest of them, I don’t really care if they see me now or not. I have no connections to that life anymore.”

“So why don’t you go as reporter Amanda and consider this a research piece? Go! Do the research. See who’s gained a hundred pounds since graduation, who’s been married and divorced like five times in twenty years, who has lost their hair, had plastic surgery, and grown another chin! Surely even you are nosey enough to want to know the answers to some of those question! Besides, from the messages that your mom has been leaving, I don’t think she’s going to give up until you say that you’re coming.” Gretchen is looking at me with that ‘I know you’re going to do this’ look that drives me bonkers.

“I don’t want to do this, Gretchen. I don’t have any desire to go back and visit that life again.” I get up from my desk and walk over to the bank of windows behind my desk.

This view of New York has become my home. Other than my mother, there is nothing left for me in Texas. I left that behind many years ago. I don’t know that I could go back and see anyone again, and not feel like I was the girl from twenty years ago. I hear Gretchen get up and move toward me. She doesn’t touch me, she just stands beside me, folds her arms, and stares out over the city with me.

Gretchen’s voice softens, “I get it. I’m not who I was in high school either. But don’t you owe it to that girl you were then, to show up at that reunion as the woman you are now. You made it out of small town Texas, Girl. Show them all.” Gretchen reaches over and lays her hand on my shoulder.

“Ugh! Alright! Alright, I’ll go! Will that please you?” When I turn to look at Gretchen, she’s smiling from ear to ear. “Don’t even go there with me right now. I can’t believe I let you guilt-trip me into going to this disaster in the making. And before you ask, no, I’m not taking a camera crew with me. If I’m going to do this, it’s just going to be me.”

Gretchen does this little girly, squeal thing, jumps up and down for a second, then grasps me in a huge hug. She quickly pulls back, still holding me by the arms. “I’ll make the arrangements. You, call your mom.” And with that, she is out the door, back in her cubicle and on the telephone.

I brace myself as I sit back down at my desk, pick up the receiver and dial my mother’s phone number. I cannot believe that I’m about to do this. The line is ringing.

“Hello?” My mother’s voice comes through the earpiece. “Hello?”

“Hi, Momma. It’s me, Amanda.” I really hope I don’t regret this.